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We’ll be sticking to our kitchen floor for weeks, I’m sure. How is it that sticky-sweet spills absolutely refuse soap-and-water and scrubbing?
I was simply trying to save a few bucks and make my own homemade iced mocha before heading back out into the sweltering heat. (It hit 115 two days ago.) In went the soymilk, the cinnamon, the chocolate. “On” went the blender, and just as I was about to add my oh-so-strong, French-pressed coffee, the little plastic cap on the blender dropped in—and the ingredients rocketed out. In one second flat, my kitchen was painted in chocolate-cinnamon soymilk. And so was I. My freshly ironed white tank became a tasty leopard print; chocolate dripped from my eyelashes, my hair, the ceiling, the just-washed dishes drying on the counter, the refrigerator, the floor, the rug, the cupboards, the pictures... you get the idea. Plastered.
I laughed out loud as I tackled the dripping disaster (before it could dry and cause more damage), but it was a mess I could have done without.
There is, however, a mess worth making…
When I was in my early twenties, I thought that relationships pleasing to God would be peaceful, low maintenance, and even somewhat (I hate to admit this) easy.
I have to laugh at myself for being so idealistic. I’m too strong a personality, too passionate, too full of sin to find anything “easy.” I learn slowly; I learn the hard way. I fight long and hard to get to a place of faith and understanding and acceptance and peace.
But fighting for right relationships is so worth it. It’s messy for sure, but it’s what Christ has called us to (read John 17 again!). He knows we naturally stink at relationships—be they friend, family, romantic, marriage, roommates, work, church—and He’s not surprised by our struggle. In fact, He knew from the beginning that we would make a mess of things, and He already had a beautiful clean-up plan in place.
It’s fascinating how we each react to the “cap dropping into the blender” and the consequent mess. Some of us walk away from it, leaving the chocolate to harden and creating an even bigger mess in the long run. Others may clean up the mess, but begrudgingly, resolving to never attempt an iced mocha again. Regardless of how we may react, one thing’s for sure: we all need a lot of help in this relationship area.
The past three years have felt like an intensive relationship boot camp for me. I love what I’ve been (slowly) learning. Aside from God’s Word, one of the greatest helps has been a little book called “The Peacemaker” by Ken Sande. In it, Sande shares a wonderful checklist to “get the log out of your eye before taking the speck out of your brother’s.” Here’s a portion of it:
- What am I preoccupied with? (What is the first thing on my mind in the morning and/or the last thing at night?)
- How would I fill in this blank? “If only ______, then I would be happy, fulfilled and secure.”
- What do I want to preserve or avoid at any cost?
- Where do I put my trust?
- What do I fear?
- When a certain desire is not met, do I feel frustration, anxiety, resentment, bitterness, anger, or depression?
- Is there something I desire so much that I am willing to disappoint or hurt others in order to have it?
- Am I guilty of reckless words, falsehood, gossip, slander, or any other worthless talk?
- Have I tried to control others?
- Have I kept my word and fulfilled all of my responsibilities?
- Have I abused my authority?
- Have I respected those in authority over me?
- Have I treated others as I would want to be treated?
- Am I being motivated by lusts of the flesh, pride, love of money, fear of others, or wanting good things too much?
I’m convicted all over again. Lol. I’m so thankful, so very thankful, that God lavishes His grace on sinners like me (Ephesians 1:7-8)—and patiently teaches us what is best for us (Isaiah 48:17).
Today is another opportunity to die to ourselves so we can live Christ’s abundant life—another chance to exchange our “filthy rags” for God’s perfect clean-up solution.
And I may just attempt another iced mocha later today.
